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Jul. 1st, 2016

Tonight is the first night back to work since I hurt my knee. I'm working overnight, and I have access to a kitchen full of food. But I also have Diet Coke, coffee, tea, and fat free popcorn. I can be strong.

Jun. 29th, 2016

So, I was away for a bit. I was in the hospital due to a torn quadriceps tendon. I haven't been able to exercise or even really move around, and my eating has been shit. Oh, and the ER doctor even told me I have chunky knees. Icing on the cake, my friends.

My Name Is Harley

And I can't bring myself to post my current weight yet. I've struggled with my weight since I was 10. I had notoriously unsupportive friends and family. They would make mean comments, bring me down, and offer what they thought was constructive criticism. Well, it was destructive, and fed my self-destruction.

I've binged, purged, starved, used laxatives, over-exercised, took pills, drugs, you name it, I've done it in this quest to find the "perfect" weight, the "perfect" body. I am fully aware of this fruitless pursuit. Does that mean I'm going to stop? NO.

I still hold out some odd form of hope of becoming thin. One of my major motivations? I hate my period. I can't take birth control, even though my periods are so painful that I end up in bed, curled up, in tears, bleeding through a pad every hour on the hour. Yeah, it's that bad, and if my doctor won't prescribe me BC or let me get surgery, I will starve it away.

So this is me, or a small part of me, anyway. Do you want to be friends? I haven't eaten in almost 15 hours so I can kind of reset my hunger cues. I just wanna talk to someone.

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